Fertility issue:

Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
5 pregnancy losses
2 at 9 weeks
3 at 5 weeks
Abnormal embryos

Factor V Leiden heterozygous
MTHFR heterozygous

AFC: 2 – 12
AMH: 0.2
FSH: 6.8
E2: 40
LH: 2.8


April 2011 –
Natural conception, first try. Blighted ovum (gestational sac only). D and C to remove products of conception at 9 weeks.

Oct 2011 –
Natural conception, first try. Blighted ovum (gestational sac and yolk sac). Took Cytotec to induce miscarriage at 9 weeks. PTSD, depression, anxiety, insomnia, night terrors followed.

Winter 2012 –
Two rounds of Femara/Clomid + IUIs at Columbia and RS of NY. The idea: to produce more eggs and increase chances of catching a good one. BFNs.

April 2012 –
Natural conception, first try. Ultrasound showed activity in the uterus, but no complete sac. Diagnosed with “missed abortion.” Natural miscarriage at 5 weeks.

June 2012 –
Conception after 7 mg Femara for 5 days + IUI. Diagnosed with chemical pregnancy. Natural miscarriage at 4.5 weeks.

August 2012 –
Natural conception, without trying. Chemical pregnancy and natural miscarriage at 5 weeks.

October 2012 –
ODWU at Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine (CCRM).

January 2013 –
IVF with Dr. Schoolcraft.
Straight Antagonist protocol

What he predicted:
I will produce 11 eggs
Good chance 1 will be normal
30% chance 2 will be normal
Transfer 1, then a 45% chance of success
Transfer 2, then a 65% chance of success

What happened:
7 follicles stimulated
6 mature eggs retrieved
2 died during ICSI
4 fertilized
3 out of 4 embryos CCS-tested
All abnormal

Aug/Sept 2013-
Frozen Donor Egg IVF at Reproductive Biology Associates (RBA)
What Dr. Shapiro predicted:
6 or 7 will fertilize
1 we will transfer
1 – 3 we will freeze

Protocol: Lupron, Vivelle patches, Crinone

8 frozen eggs from donor thawed
6 fertilized
1 Day-5 Grade A XBbb blastocyst transferred
1 Day-5 Grade A EBbb blastocyst frozen
1 Day-6 Grade A XBbb blastocyst frozen

September 13, 2013: Pregnant

Prenatal vitamins, baby aspirin,
Vivelle patches, Crinone

Beta #1: 171
Beta #2: 706
Beta #3: 7,437

6 w 3 d: measured 6 w 1 d
FHR: 80 bpm
Fetus did not grow
7 w: FHR 121 bpm
8 w: heart stopped
9 w: D and C

Test results: We lost a normal karyotype male for unexplained reasons

Quit stressful job
Anti-inflammation diet
Gluten-free diet
Therapy/energy work
Creative Visualization
Art Therapy

March 14, 2014:
Double FET at RBA
1 Day-5 Grade A EBbb blastocyst
1 Day-6 Grade A XBbb blastocyst

March 24, 2014:

Prenatals, baby aspirin, Folgard, Vivelle, Crinone, Lovenox

Beta #1: 295
Beta #2: 942
Beta #3: 12,153

1 fetus implanted

Measured on track

Fetal heart rate:
7 wk: 127 bpm, 8wk:159 bpm, 9wk: 172 bpm

Due date: Dec, 4 2014!

NatureMade (USP Seal) Prenatals and 4000 Vit D3
Baby aspirin
40 mg Lovenox
Folgard 2.2

Leave a comment


  1. Holy hell, that is a lot of heartache.

  2. I’m so, so sorry. I can’t imagine the heartache – especially the pain of going to an ultrasound where there’s no heartbeat. It’s one of my biggest fears about the whole IVF process – I’ve never been pregnant and I’m beyond terrified that when it finally happens, the moment of joy and happiness will be ripped away like from so many others like yourself. I hope that you’re in good hands and have a better support system than we do so that you didn’t have to cope with this alone…HUGS!

    • Thank you warmly! I appreciate your support so much. It truly is a life-changing experience…but it won’t necessarily happen to you. Although I know it is hard not to be scared. I have a very “friendly” uterus that tries to nurture any and all comers, so that’s one reason I’ve had so many losses.

      • It’s definitely hard not to think about it all the time. I read somewhere that it’s one of the many reasons why dealing with IF is so hard – because, for many women, even if/when they finally manage to get pregnant, they can’t relish the joy as freely as their unchallenged counterparts. :(

  3. Rachel

     /  January 28, 2014

    Hi there, I just stumbled across your blog from Stirrup Queens. I have never been pregnant before, but had my first failed IVF cycle in Nov/Dec. We are in a FET cycle right now, and hoping for the best. I am a licensed professional counselor, so I appreciate your excellent writing about the psychological impacts of the fertility treatments. I get where you are coming from, and have so far enjoyed reading some of your posts.
    Good luck to you in the future, whatever step that might be.

    • Thank you so much, and I’m glad you stopped by. I’m glad you’re finding the psych stuff interesting. The best of luck to you this upcoming FET!

  4. kristen

     /  March 11, 2014

    Hello friend,
    I’ve been reading your blog for many months now. I don’t know what circuitous e-thread brought me here. I was in the throws of my fourth loss and in a state of such despair that finding another despairing soul somehow made that intolerable evening somewhat tolerable. My last MC was at 11 weeks. The others were between 7 and 10 weeks. I’m 43 now and have been ttc for 4 years. It seems, like you, my eager uterus is willing to fertilize and host just about anything. I tread the fine line between moving on and clinging to hope, which has left me in a state of paralysis. I check in with your blog almost daily as I seem to have transferred my hope cache to your journey. I don’t know you personally, of course, but I know your pain. May your trip to Atlanta heal your heart and soul. I’m so rooting for you!

  5. Polly

     /  February 27, 2015

    I just found your blog and I am SO excited to read more as I am an RBA/Dr. Shapiro girl, too! (Currently 17 weeks pregnant with my IVF miracle after three early losses, similar meds to you – prenatals, 5,000 vitamin D3, baby aspirin, Lovenox, etc. I was also dx with DOR at age 34.) Happy to “meet” you!

  6. Your story gives me hope, thank you for sharing.

    • I’m so glad. It’s been a while since I visited this timeline—as the first commenter says, holy hell. It’s not that I’ve forgotten everything (although many details I have forgotten), it’s just that it is still profound to see it all lined up like that. Hold onto hope—it’s powerful, hope. The best of luck to you.


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