I send you my love

The unthinkable has happened. Yes. It has. It really, really has. I type these words with confusion, sadness, anger, fear, and—believe it or not—hope.

This is my son. My beautiful, loving, kind son. His teacher took this picture. She said S was reaching out to hold hands with and comfort his friend, who was having a really rough day and crying quite a bit. She said it was like S was saying, “It’s okay, buddy, I got you.”

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This is the future.

I went to yoga this morning. I was, to my surprise, feeling better. Yesterday was a dark, dark day, a sick day, and I almost literally vomited. But I woke up today thinking about people turning to their communities, doing volunteer work, connecting locally, spreading love and good works—it was just an image in my mind, but it said to me: This is possible. A more evolved world IS possible. One man does not change everyone and everything. Yes, he’s the most powerful man in the world, but he can’t control the way we treat one another in our homes, our communities, on the streets, in the cafes, in the schools. He can control a lot, but he can’t control whether I smile to my neighbor.

So I walked into yoga feeling this bizarre optimism. I dissolved into my mat and my breath and into the air and practiced unity and presence.

Then, at the end of the class, during final resting pose, I began to cry. During namaste, I sent out loving kindness to the world. I understood how many people are going to suffer, and suffer in ways unimaginable to me, because of the president we now have and Congress and the Supreme Court. Changes are going to happen that will change peoples lives for the worse forever.

There is no sentence starting with “but” to follow that statement.

I believe in the younger generations. I believe in my son. I believe in love. I also know how much pain is going to come to so many.

This morning, this very morning, S started saying “I love.” He went through a phase when he was much younger when he would say, “I-la-ooo,” imitating “I love you,” and I was kind of sad when that phase ended. So, perfect timing, this morning, he’s saying, “I love” to my husband and me, and then asking us to hug him. “Hug! Hug!” he said. Then he asked me to “cheers” his glass.

In the car, I snapped off NPR and started singing, “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine,” and S, in the back seat, joined in. When we were finished he called out to me, “Happy, happy!” I swear. I mean, how is that even real? It is. He’s real. He’s a healer—I say that in all seriousness. A natural healer.

It is time to snap out of our lulled state and do good works, at the local level. And it is time to look to our children for guidance in how to remain hopeful in the darkest of times.

I send you all my love.

 

 

 

 

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8 Comments

  1. Sending love right back at you sister. At you and out into our little community and out into the broader world. We will not be daunted by hate and injustice. We will love and protect each and we will teach our children to do the same. We are raising the next generation and they will be better and kinder. They will rise.

    Reply
  2. Love love love. <3

    Reply
  3. Beautifully said, as always! Love to you too!

    Reply
  4. I basically went through the same kind of thing yesterday (not even American, but I feel so badly for all the people who’s lives are going to be turned upside down!).. but I woke up this morning with a clearer head and felt optimistic because there still are so many people who are going to fight every move he tries to make, and people will make art and music and spread love and tolerance. Dark but interesting times up ahead.

    Reply
  5. Chris

     /  November 11, 2016

    I so needed that today. Ive read you for years not sure how much I’ve commented as i tend to lurk buttoday i needed this as i try to heal. Thank you for these words and that picture. I needed that…and much tome playing with my fur baby. ♡ Chris

    Reply
  6. This is the only reasonable response, so thank you for articulating it. It’s also a time when real activism becomes paramount to defending democracy, which is such an inherently fragile thing.

    Reply
  7. My son is going to be the main thing that gets me through the next 4 years.

    Reply
  8. Nam myo ho renge kyo. Many blessings to you as well.

    Reply

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