Stronger and louder

We just got back from a trip that was an unforgettable adventure, but the details of that are for another post. For now want to quickly mention (before husband and baby arrive home from Trader Joe’s) what it was like to talk to new people (at a wedding), how easily my history of recurrent pregnancy loss rolled off my tongue, and how open I am feeling about the whole experience, how good it is to be part of the destigmatization of miscarriage, infertility, and infertility treatments. To have the strength and insight to do so gracefully, and with plenty of space for whatever reactions come my way. S has some birth defects that are not all that obvious at first glance, but it is also good to talk about that openly, and to say, “The doctors say it is random and not related to my history,” and then, when asked, “What history?” to answer as casually as if we are talking about where I went to college. I give a synopsis of what we have gone through to get to now. Sometimes people say nothing. They might stammer. Or stare. It’s good to respond with reassurance, smiling: “It’s okay for me to talk about it. It’s my life. It’s just what has happened.” They might relax, or they might not. They might ask further questions (rare), or they might change the subject. It’s all the same to me. I’m just honored to be able to be a voice for this particular sector of experience, to do my part in bringing down that stupid, unnecessary black veil that separates us from the rest of society.

I want to talk more and more, and increasingly out in the world. Healing is making me stronger and louder.

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2 Comments

  1. I love this post! You are awesome. Here’s the shedding light on all sorts of uncomfortable topics.

    Reply
  2. So important! I had started to open up after announcing my pregnancy but have since felt a little overexposed given the outcome. I hope to get back to that place (like you) where I can chip away at that taboo as well.

    Reply

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