The apologetic post

Back when I was reading infertility and pregnancy loss blogs at a time when I really had no idea if I would ever be able to have a baby, have a family, I would cringe a little when other bloggers sent out their apologetic post. This is the post a blogger posts when her life has become too busy for her to blog regularly…which is what happens when you have a baby. These posts used to make me feel like my life was so empty and quiet and filled with nothing but time to contemplate and ruminate, and time to write very long posts all about every detail of my ruminations, whereas the blogger who could not blog had a life that was rich and active and fulfilling. She was busy living. I was trying to live.

So, I want to apologize for going MIA, while being sensitive to the fact that some readers might have that same reaction to the apology. It’s not that my life has become 100% amazing, it’s that it has become 1000% time-crunched. I go to bed sometimes at 7:30 or 8:00 (!) and get up at the crack of dawn and get to work. I’m like a farmer or something.

I also want to mention that many of my posts that I wrote in the weeks immediately after S’s birth are password protected because I wrote them in a way that I became not comfortable with, in terms of S’s privacy. Some readers have contacted me about this and I want to apologize—I need to go back and rewrite and edit those posts in a way that will make me more comfortable. And I just don’t think I’m going to have the time to do that for quite a while.

Little man is up! More soon as I can.

Previous Post
Next Post
Leave a comment


  1. Hello! Good to hear from you! And don’t stress… it’s all good. At the same time, I certainly missed your posts and hope to read more soon. :)

  2. mo

     /  April 29, 2015

    Welcome back, farmer! I totally hear you about the never ending business. thanks for taking a moment to say hi : ) and good luck with it all until we hear from you again.


  3. Nice to see you again! No worries, no need to apologize. Life is different now, and different is busy and beautiful and just what you’d hoped for in those days before. Totally understandable! :) I look forward to reading more in the future.

  4. I am reading your blog again after quite a while. I get it. After you have one, you wonder how you managed to waste so much time pre-child. With two, it’s worse. Really. It blows your mind that it can be worse but it is. I haven’t been able to henna my hair for the past (oh) four years. Enjoy, though. It will get easier as he gets bigger.


Leave a reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

  • Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 215 other followers

  • Posts By Month


  •© the unexpected trip,, 2012-2017.
  • Recent Posts By Title

  • About Me

    Me: 41
    DH: 38

    Fertility issue:
    Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
    6 pregnancy losses
    All early
    5 with my own eggs
    1 with donor egg

    Abnormal embryos

    Factor V Leiden heterozygous
    MTHFR heterozygous

    AFC: 2 - 12
    AMH: 0.2
    FSH: 6.8
    E2: 40
    LH: 2.8


    April 2011 -
    Natural conception, first try. Blighted ovum (gestational sac only). D&C to remove products of conception at 9 weeks.

    Oct 2011 -
    Natural conception, first try. Blighted ovum (gestational sac & yolk sac). Took Cytotec to induce miscarriage at 9 weeks. PTSD, depression, anxiety, insomnia, night terrors followed.

    Winter 2012 -
    Two rounds of Femara/Clomid + IUIs at Columbia and RS of NY. The idea: to produce more eggs and increase chances of catching a good one. BFNs.

    April 2012 -
    Natural conception, first try. Ultrasound showed activity in the uterus, but no complete sac. Diagnosed with "missed abortion." Natural miscarriage at 5 weeks.

    June 2012 -
    Conception after 7 mg Femara for 5 days + IUI. Diagnosed with chemical pregnancy. Natural miscarriage at 4.5 weeks.

    August 2012 -
    Natural conception, without trying. Chemical pregnancy and natural miscarriage at 5 weeks.

    October 2012 -
    ODWU at Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine (CCRM).

    January 2013 -
    IVF with Dr. Schoolcraft.
    Straight Antagonist protocol

    What he predicted:
    I will produce 11 eggs
    Good chance 1 will be normal
    30% chance 2 will be normal
    Transfer 1, then a 45% chance of success
    Transfer 2, then a 65% chance of success

    What happened:
    7 follicles stimulated
    6 mature eggs retrieved
    2 died during ICSI
    4 fertilized
    3 out of 4 embryos CCS-tested
    All abnormal

    Aug/Sept 2013-
    Frozen Donor Egg IVF at Reproductive Biology Associates (RBA)
    What Dr. Shapiro predicted:
    6 or 7 will fertilize
    1 we will transfer
    1 - 3 we will freeze

    Protocol: Lupron, Vivelle patches, Crinone

    8 frozen eggs from donor thawed
    6 fertilized
    1 Day-5 Grade A XBbb blastocyst transferred
    1 Day-5 Grade A EBbb blastocyst frozen
    1 Day-6 Grade A XBbb blastocyst frozen

    September 13, 2013: Pregnant

    Prenatal vitamins & baby aspirin,
    Vivelle patches & Crinone

    Beta #1: 171
    Beta #2: 706
    Beta #3: 7,437

    6 w 3 d: measured 6 w 1 d
    FHR: 80 bpm
    Fetus did not grow
    7 w: FHR 121 bpm
    8 w: heart stopped
    9 w: D and C

    Test results: We lost a normal karyotype male for unexplained reasons

    Quit stressful job
    Anti-inflammation diet
    Gluten-free diet
    Vit D, DHA/EPA
    Therapy/energy work
    Creative Visualization
    Art Therapy

    March 14, 2014:
    Double FET at RBA
    1 Day-5 Grade A EBbb blastocyst
    1 Day-6 Grade A XBbb blastocyst

    March 24, 2014:

    Prenatals, baby aspirin, Folgard, Vivelle, Crinone, Lovenox

    Beta #1: 295
    Beta #2: 942
    Beta #3: 12,153

    1 fetus implanted

    Measured on track

    Fetal heart rate:
    7 wk: 127 bpm, 8wk:159 bpm, 9wk: 172 bpm

    Due date: Dec, 4 2014!

    NatureMade (USP Seal) Prenatals and 4000 Vit D3
    Baby aspirin
    40 mg Lovenox
    DHA and EPA
    Folgard 2.2

    Born: One perfect baby boy 12.4.14

  • Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: