Amazing communication developments

These things are happening:

  • Yesterday I was changing him in the afternoon into a new outfit, and he was cooing on the bed while I got his clothes—the biggest and highest coos yet! The coos dip up and down. I came over and cooed back the same sounds—and he cooed back! I know it sounds so basic, but my insides soared. We did this for a little while, his little face relaxed and content as he fixed his eyes on mine. We were “talking.” Amazing.
  • I’ve been doing a lot of soft, soft talking to him—it’s like I’m telling him little secrets. His face brightens and he listens raptly. We lock eyes and I feel this funny sensation, a sort of dip in my stomach, and in that moment I feel the strength of the connection and know that we are communicating love to one another. Hard to describe. It’s kind of like we enter our own private dimension together.
  • He has started clicking his tongue! It just started yesterday morning and now he is really into it. cluck cluck cluck. He did it throughout the morning today, in greeting. Like a baby dolphin.
  • Yesterday morning, he greeted me with smiles and captivation. This morning, too. This is becoming a regular morning thing! He also does it when he hasn’t seen me in a while, like when I’m driving…I come to the back seat to get him out, and he looks at me with delight and quiet smiles. I know this is basic, but I can’t tell you how hard it is for me to believe that he is just going to keep doing this. The reward I feel is like a drug.
  • When any of this happens, I feel the presence of a person, a being, in the room with me. It’s different from what it feels like when he’s more in fetal mode. Dr. Karp (Happiest Baby on the Block) talks about the first three months being the 4th trimester, and newborns are still basically fetuses in terms of development. When STs in fetal mode, he’s of course present to us, but it feels different. I don’t sense the presence of an active mind engaging with mine, but more that of a helpless creature with very basic, primal needs who is sort of blindly reaching. But when he’s in emerging-person mode, I sense the presence of ST, a person with preferences, with an emerging personality and sense of humor, who is communicating that he likes me and likes hanging out with me. Or that he’s feeling lonely and wants to cuddle (this is communicated with soft cat-yowls and the frowny face of a cartoon character and a quivery lip).

People who’ve had kids would/will probably think it’s funny, the minutiae I’m noticing and how floored I am by it. But this is what I was yearning for for so long, this opportunity to usher in new life and help it grow along. And to feel myself grow along with it. Thanks, ST. You’re pretty amazing, honey-muffin sugar-noodle munchkin-head love bug shnerma-nerma-noo. (Yes, I say things like this.)

I’m so excited!

DH and I are squealing and laughing with delight and clapping our hands throughout the day, like we’re the first people on earth to discover a baby’s smile and laughs and coos. You always hear parents say, “All I want is my child’s happiness.” Now we genuinely get that for the first time. His happiness is our happiness. It’s all that matters. Seeing it surface more every day is the best birthday present I could receive. Today I am 41. And I’m not sad about it.

Leave a comment


  1. He is such a cute doll! And I can’t believe how much he’s already grown. The fact that he’s so much more interactive is incredible. It’s amazing that these itties become actual tiny persons. S is just starting to give us grin whispers, which we work super hard to see! I might just try the sleep sack, btw.

  2. Julia

     /  February 1, 2015

    In many ways I feel we are living a parallel life. Babykins is cooing and smiling at us a lot now too. It makes my heart leap right out of my chest. I want him to stay so little and cute and amazing, yet I am so excited to see what is next.

  3. Davidah

     /  February 1, 2015

    Thank you for your wonderful posts. Bonding and attachment is about seeing your baby as a separate person, meeting his/her needs, and communicating from the heart. It’s not a laundry-list of things to do (breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing). It’s inspiring to see how deeply you’re engaged. Happy Birthday!


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