Postpartum body – the raw truth

The sickness is over! And ST did not catch it! I am so happy. Yesterday I was even well enough to do yogA, Pilates, and swim for 25 minutes, after a full ten hours of sleep, which ended up being the gift of being ill. Sweet sleep! Just wanted to quickly post what I encountered in the YMCA full-length mirror last night, with no sugar-coating…

A 165 pound , 5 foot 2 woman. (Usually 130 to 135.) Arms that have lost definition and now sport a pink bumpy rash on the tricep area. A protruding tummy that looks pregnancy or beer-related and feels squishy. Legs that now have a bit of cellulite and some varicose veins on the sides of the thighs. Little skin flaps down one side of my neck and one side of one breast. Hard pink bumps under my rather droopy boobs. A face that is much fleshier than I’ve seen it yet, with some chin action that comes out when I smile, and two purple crescents beneath my eyes.

It ain’t easy to see. I’ve never been more motivated to exercise in my life. I’m intimidated…35 pounds…how am I going to lose all that while not breastfeeding? Am still wearing maternity jeans, and not even my first-tri ones, my third-tri. I had to buy some size large clothes bc had nothing to wear but maternity numbers, which make me look pregs. Luckily my husband keeps calling me beautiful and we even had sex (!) yesterday for the first time in ages— I’m not gonna lie, I felt more comfortable keeping my shirt on. But who knows maybe this will be the beginning of a much fitter lifestyle for me. And I’m almost certain I do not wAnt to be pregnant again (but that’s a story for another post).

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  1. Me too sister. I have my dr appt tomorrow and, given the okay, it’s go time. But I have faith getting back to will happen!

  2. I am back to my pre pregnancy weight, but definitely not the same shape. I have lost weight off of my fingers, but ohhh, that tummy…. I am sure you will get back into shape in no time and it will help when the weather is nicer too.

  3. Girl!!! I have 35 pounds to lose and I didn’t even have a baby! I have been so use to being “thin” that in the last couple of years, this extra weight has really put a damper on my self-esteem. Part of it is due to PCOS (causes weight gain in the midsection) but also since we got Goldilocks I haven’t been able to exercise. Not to mention I find myself eating my lunch and then the leftvoers of her lunch. yikes! I gotta stop that! hehe

  4. I have one friend who dropped a ton of pregnancy weight by just getting out and walking with her baby, an hour or two per day once the weather got nice. Getting motivated is the hardest part. It will come off, I’m sure (and I have to believe this myself, cause I’ll be in a similar position in a month or two)!!

  5. Glad you got some sleep and exercise!! When donee get to hear about this little guys arrival!?!?

  6. Julia

     /  January 26, 2015

    You have so much determination. I have no doubt you will be able to get on a path to a more comfortable self. Give yourself lots of time. Better weather will surely help too. That’s what I keep telling myself anyways. I cannot wait to get out walking with Babykins. I bought a sweet stroller- I hope he likes going for strolls!


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  • About Me

    Me: 41
    DH: 38

    Fertility issue:
    Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
    6 pregnancy losses
    All early
    5 with my own eggs
    1 with donor egg

    Abnormal embryos

    Factor V Leiden heterozygous
    MTHFR heterozygous

    AFC: 2 - 12
    AMH: 0.2
    FSH: 6.8
    E2: 40
    LH: 2.8


    April 2011 -
    Natural conception, first try. Blighted ovum (gestational sac only). D&C to remove products of conception at 9 weeks.

    Oct 2011 -
    Natural conception, first try. Blighted ovum (gestational sac & yolk sac). Took Cytotec to induce miscarriage at 9 weeks. PTSD, depression, anxiety, insomnia, night terrors followed.

    Winter 2012 -
    Two rounds of Femara/Clomid + IUIs at Columbia and RS of NY. The idea: to produce more eggs and increase chances of catching a good one. BFNs.

    April 2012 -
    Natural conception, first try. Ultrasound showed activity in the uterus, but no complete sac. Diagnosed with "missed abortion." Natural miscarriage at 5 weeks.

    June 2012 -
    Conception after 7 mg Femara for 5 days + IUI. Diagnosed with chemical pregnancy. Natural miscarriage at 4.5 weeks.

    August 2012 -
    Natural conception, without trying. Chemical pregnancy and natural miscarriage at 5 weeks.

    October 2012 -
    ODWU at Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine (CCRM).

    January 2013 -
    IVF with Dr. Schoolcraft.
    Straight Antagonist protocol

    What he predicted:
    I will produce 11 eggs
    Good chance 1 will be normal
    30% chance 2 will be normal
    Transfer 1, then a 45% chance of success
    Transfer 2, then a 65% chance of success

    What happened:
    7 follicles stimulated
    6 mature eggs retrieved
    2 died during ICSI
    4 fertilized
    3 out of 4 embryos CCS-tested
    All abnormal

    Aug/Sept 2013-
    Frozen Donor Egg IVF at Reproductive Biology Associates (RBA)
    What Dr. Shapiro predicted:
    6 or 7 will fertilize
    1 we will transfer
    1 - 3 we will freeze

    Protocol: Lupron, Vivelle patches, Crinone

    8 frozen eggs from donor thawed
    6 fertilized
    1 Day-5 Grade A XBbb blastocyst transferred
    1 Day-5 Grade A EBbb blastocyst frozen
    1 Day-6 Grade A XBbb blastocyst frozen

    September 13, 2013: Pregnant

    Prenatal vitamins & baby aspirin,
    Vivelle patches & Crinone

    Beta #1: 171
    Beta #2: 706
    Beta #3: 7,437

    6 w 3 d: measured 6 w 1 d
    FHR: 80 bpm
    Fetus did not grow
    7 w: FHR 121 bpm
    8 w: heart stopped
    9 w: D and C

    Test results: We lost a normal karyotype male for unexplained reasons

    Quit stressful job
    Anti-inflammation diet
    Gluten-free diet
    Vit D, DHA/EPA
    Therapy/energy work
    Creative Visualization
    Art Therapy

    March 14, 2014:
    Double FET at RBA
    1 Day-5 Grade A EBbb blastocyst
    1 Day-6 Grade A XBbb blastocyst

    March 24, 2014:

    Prenatals, baby aspirin, Folgard, Vivelle, Crinone, Lovenox

    Beta #1: 295
    Beta #2: 942
    Beta #3: 12,153

    1 fetus implanted

    Measured on track

    Fetal heart rate:
    7 wk: 127 bpm, 8wk:159 bpm, 9wk: 172 bpm

    Due date: Dec, 4 2014!

    NatureMade (USP Seal) Prenatals and 4000 Vit D3
    Baby aspirin
    40 mg Lovenox
    DHA and EPA
    Folgard 2.2

    Born: One perfect baby boy 12.4.14

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