Wyoming, Ohio, and Memorial Day BBQ

I’m so happy today—I bought my tickets to Wyoming, and I will be spending a week in July with one of my best friends, whom I’ve now been friends with for 13 years. I believe I call her “Elle” on this blog (I should keep track of these pseudonyms).  She’s the one with twin girls, 9-year-olds conceived via donor sperm. AND another dear friend of both of ours, I’ll call her KL, a novelist and triathelete, will be road-tripping through WY during that time. The three of us, who used to be a trio in grad school (my first grad school, my MFA, University of Michigan), are going to have a reunion. And I will 19 -20 weeks pregnant when all of this happens. And all of these details combined make me want to jump out of my skin with glee.

I love it when plans work out! So rare these days to get calendars and life paths to coincide.

So thankful I get to share part of my pregnancy with my girls.

I’m also zeroing in on a gender-reveal party date: the 28th. And thinking I might be in Ohio the last week of June and first week of July, with my family.

This past weekend, we went to a friend’s in Forest Hills for a Memorial Day BBQ. (I brought gluten-free baked mac n cheese that I made with a cookbook my sisterfriend R gave to me. It was a knock-out.) The last time we went to a BBQ at their place, we had just eloped, and they surprised us with Champagne. This time, as we stepped into the back yard, they erupted in applause for us (DH had told the whole group of the pregnancy, via email). Flowers were waiting for us, and someone had bought me a giant jar of pickles. It was so sweet—those people. They are DH’s friends from a long time back, and I’ve known them for only 5 years, but they treat me with such intimacy and warmth it always happily overwhelms me.

The hostess has two children, and she says that at 5 months pregs, she wants us to come back, via car not train, and she will load our trunk with baby stuff. “I won’t tell you all of the things I’m going to give to you now,” she said, “because you will freak out. But by 5 months, you’ll be ready.”

Another friend there has three children, and I ended up playing with the youngest girl quite a bit. She was sweet and smiley and loved to pretend to feed me and give me sips from her empty cup. She was so self-sufficient, with her little pink car and wad of Kleenex, which could become, at will, a bird or a ball.

The oldest boy was having trouble sharing with the other kids. He kept trying to hide his baseball bat down the back of his shirt, which, um, really didn’t work.

He burst into tears at one point from all of the stimulus and sharing demands, and I could tell that his dad (a psychologist) just didn’t know what to do.

DH played with the middle girl—leggos and plastic figurines. She was a very aggressive little thing and kept slamming her poor giraffe into the floor. “Oh no, don’t hurt me,” DH kept saying in a high-pitched voice, but she was relentless. It got to the point where we couldn’t help but laugh at how brutal she was being. “My neck is broken,” DH cried in his falsetto. “Owwww!”

I could tell what we were doing. Observing. Experimenting. Thinking about the future. All of the stages of childhood were laid out before us for us to watch, interact with.

“I’ve changed a diaper maybe three or four times in my life,” I said to DH. DH, who is also the youngest sibling, said he’d done it about the same number of times (for his niece). We looked at each other. And then we just burst out laughing.

“Book says we can expect to change diapers about six to twelve times a day at first,” I added. We laughed some more. I wanted a mocktail.

I came home, joined Pinterest, and started a “Nursery” board. (And also, for the record, a “Mocktails” board.)

Good times are happening, and so many more to come. It is going to be one damn fine summer.

Leave a comment


  1. Make yourself a mocktail margarita (mockarita?? I kill me!) and worry about diapers later. Plenty of time for that! Your girls’ get together sounds like great fun. I’m having one with mine this weekend and can’t wait. It’s so therapeutic!

  2. you are going to have an awesome summer!! I can’t wait to read about all of your travels and the gender reveal party excites me more than you know! I will need your address so I can send you a few gifts ;) 10hopeingod@gmail.com

  3. Yeah! Look me up on pinterest girl! xx

  4. What a fun summer you have planned!! Cannot wait to hear about your gender reveal party!!


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  • About Me

    Me: 41
    DH: 38

    Fertility issue:
    Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
    6 pregnancy losses
    All early
    5 with my own eggs
    1 with donor egg

    Abnormal embryos

    Factor V Leiden heterozygous
    MTHFR heterozygous

    AFC: 2 - 12
    AMH: 0.2
    FSH: 6.8
    E2: 40
    LH: 2.8


    April 2011 -
    Natural conception, first try. Blighted ovum (gestational sac only). D&C to remove products of conception at 9 weeks.

    Oct 2011 -
    Natural conception, first try. Blighted ovum (gestational sac & yolk sac). Took Cytotec to induce miscarriage at 9 weeks. PTSD, depression, anxiety, insomnia, night terrors followed.

    Winter 2012 -
    Two rounds of Femara/Clomid + IUIs at Columbia and RS of NY. The idea: to produce more eggs and increase chances of catching a good one. BFNs.

    April 2012 -
    Natural conception, first try. Ultrasound showed activity in the uterus, but no complete sac. Diagnosed with "missed abortion." Natural miscarriage at 5 weeks.

    June 2012 -
    Conception after 7 mg Femara for 5 days + IUI. Diagnosed with chemical pregnancy. Natural miscarriage at 4.5 weeks.

    August 2012 -
    Natural conception, without trying. Chemical pregnancy and natural miscarriage at 5 weeks.

    October 2012 -
    ODWU at Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine (CCRM).

    January 2013 -
    IVF with Dr. Schoolcraft.
    Straight Antagonist protocol

    What he predicted:
    I will produce 11 eggs
    Good chance 1 will be normal
    30% chance 2 will be normal
    Transfer 1, then a 45% chance of success
    Transfer 2, then a 65% chance of success

    What happened:
    7 follicles stimulated
    6 mature eggs retrieved
    2 died during ICSI
    4 fertilized
    3 out of 4 embryos CCS-tested
    All abnormal

    Aug/Sept 2013-
    Frozen Donor Egg IVF at Reproductive Biology Associates (RBA)
    What Dr. Shapiro predicted:
    6 or 7 will fertilize
    1 we will transfer
    1 - 3 we will freeze

    Protocol: Lupron, Vivelle patches, Crinone

    8 frozen eggs from donor thawed
    6 fertilized
    1 Day-5 Grade A XBbb blastocyst transferred
    1 Day-5 Grade A EBbb blastocyst frozen
    1 Day-6 Grade A XBbb blastocyst frozen

    September 13, 2013: Pregnant

    Prenatal vitamins & baby aspirin,
    Vivelle patches & Crinone

    Beta #1: 171
    Beta #2: 706
    Beta #3: 7,437

    6 w 3 d: measured 6 w 1 d
    FHR: 80 bpm
    Fetus did not grow
    7 w: FHR 121 bpm
    8 w: heart stopped
    9 w: D and C

    Test results: We lost a normal karyotype male for unexplained reasons

    Quit stressful job
    Anti-inflammation diet
    Gluten-free diet
    Vit D, DHA/EPA
    Therapy/energy work
    Creative Visualization
    Art Therapy

    March 14, 2014:
    Double FET at RBA
    1 Day-5 Grade A EBbb blastocyst
    1 Day-6 Grade A XBbb blastocyst

    March 24, 2014:

    Prenatals, baby aspirin, Folgard, Vivelle, Crinone, Lovenox

    Beta #1: 295
    Beta #2: 942
    Beta #3: 12,153

    1 fetus implanted

    Measured on track

    Fetal heart rate:
    7 wk: 127 bpm, 8wk:159 bpm, 9wk: 172 bpm

    Due date: Dec, 4 2014!

    NatureMade (USP Seal) Prenatals and 4000 Vit D3
    Baby aspirin
    40 mg Lovenox
    DHA and EPA
    Folgard 2.2

    Born: One perfect baby boy 12.4.14

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