My first OB appointment: 10 weeks / Random thoughts percolating

2This is the front view of my baby, taken at my first OB appointment yesterday. Kills me. He or she looks like a little teddy bear! A teddy bear with its tiny arms reaching out and wriggling around. Reaching toward me. Look at its giant lollipop head, people. Its head is bigger than its tiny pot-bellied body. I’m seriously in love.

At one point, I swear to you, the baby did this wavy side-to-side motion, like it was doing the Axl Rose snake dance. Yes!

Papa is a fantastic dancer. I have to wonder if this baby is going to tear up the floor someday.

It was very dramatic. My OB, Dr. McKenna, turned off the lights, and the room became like a theater. He said, “My machine is better than Dr. San Roman’s, I’m always teasing him about it.” Ha! I thought, These guys brag and compete with their ultrasound machines like other guys do with, like, their gun collections.

Baby’s heartbeat was a bit slower than it was this morning, and Dr. MK said that this is because I was so calm (I took a nap on the table before he showed up—yup, I’m back to napping in public places). I’m amazed by the connection between baby and me. Grinning as I type those words.

Am I thinking about donor egg? Hmm. How to describe? It’s more like I’m aware that it is donor egg. Sort of like a person is aware of the fact that she has, say, a hand. Oh yes, I have a hand. Just like yesterday and the day before that. Grateful to have that hand, but don’t really spend a lot of time contemplating it. I don’t feel like this is someone else’s baby, that is for sure! I don’t feel like a gestational carrier. I feel like a brand new mother, beginning to form a magical attachment to my baby. When I laugh, he or she feels the vibration and curls up. When I nap, his or her heartbeat slows down with mine.

DH and I did have an odd interaction yesterday. I said breezily: “Isn’t it interesting to think that our baby definitely has at least one half-sibling out there already?” (We know of one other ongoing pregnancy, with our donor.) DH did not seem to find this interesting. “I don’t want to think about that right now,” he said, and he looked troubled. Hm. We’ll need to talk about that, as it’s the first time he’s seem troubled about anything. Maybe it’s because baby is now looking like a little person? I don’t know why, exactly, but the existence of half-siblings doesn’t trouble me. I do find it interesting—but that’s my nature. I think my interest and curiosity has to do with having been a storywriter my whole life. The existence of half-siblings doesn’t feel like a problem to me; it feels like a rather fascinating and unique part of the story. I’ve even had the thought that if my child ever wants to do the sibling registry thing, someday, I would most likely want him or her to do that, too! Because I’m already curious. Maybe I’m weird. I don’t know. I have a lot of confidence that the bond between my child and me will be strong, that our relationship will thrive no matter what. Of course, the idea of him or her somehow connecting to the donor herself, someday, is something I don’t think a lot about. So there must be something there, but I haven’t yet felt the need to explore it.

Anyway, so back to the appointment. Dr. MK measured me at 10 weeks yesterday and wants to stick with that in determining the due date. That very same morning, at Dr. SR’s, they measured baby at 10 weeks 4 days. SO if any of you are at all worried about your measurements in early pregnancy, just think of my story: that +/- 5 days margin of error is definitely true. The measurement depends a great deal on the type of ultrasound machine being used and the person doing the measuring.

I’ve had my scans on the same day each week since week 5. I’ve measured 6 weeks 1 day, 7 weeks 1 day, 8 weeks 1 day, 9 weeks 2 days, and 10 weeks 4 days. And now, with a different machine and different person measuring, 10 weeks.

So this moves my due date to…

December 4th! (Still a Sagittarius, Mrs. MLACS.)

1We went into his office, and there I saw a photo on his desk of him and Dr. SR. These guys are really tight, and it makes me feel like I’m crossing a safe bridge, and I feel very thankful for that. We talked about the usual rules: fish, lunch meat, hot tubs.

He wants me to stay on love.nox for my entire pregnancy. In fact, he said that if I were not on it already, he would have put me on it. Interesting! He said I am at risk for blood clots with the Factor V…

The love.nox was the only thing I did differently, medication-wise, this time. I wonder if my first donor-egg pregnancy would have worked out if I had been on love.nox? Why wasn’t I put on love.nox the first time, just in case? Why didn’t I insist on it? At the same time, I know that there is simply no way to know, one way or another, what happened that first donor egg pregnancy. It will forever be a mystery, and I have to accept that.

It is also possible that the was the key to a successful pregnancy. Perhaps I needed it to calm my entire system down in order to create a safe place for life to begin.

Or perhaps it was going strict gluten-free.

Or, or…

Okay, back to the appointment:

I will stay on love.nox until the final weeks, when we will switch to heparin, which is easier to manage when you go into labor.

Good news: Dr. MK says that although I am technically high-risk because I am on love.nox, he does not really think of me as such. He said that there will be no limitations on my labor and delivery (!), which I certainly did not expect to hear.

In two weeks, I will get the nuchal scan and (I hope) the Maternity 21 test, which tests three trisomies and gender. I don’t want to know the gender yet, but would like them to write the gender down and put the piece of paper in an envelope—and then go home to Ohio to open that envelope with my family. Or—who knows?—maybe even do a fun gender reveal party. I probably will not be pregnant again, so I’d like to do all the things.

But Dr. SR was already talking to me about coming back to him for a second baby. Oh boy. Very tempting, that idea. But I think if we want to expand our family we will try to adopt a toddler from Korea.

Or maybe we will be happy as three peas in a pod with one child. I’m changing, my vision is feeling more flexible. I’d always been attached to the idea of having two kids. But now, after experiencing this miracle first-hand, I am beginning to understand that one miracle in a lifetime is amazing enough. Perhaps we will feel entirely satisfied as a family of three. I know DH would.

Back to the appointment (again!):

The other thing of note that Dr. MK said: He recommends using an over-the-counter prenatal vitamin with the USP seal. I showed him my raw-food prenatal (vitamin code) and he said it was fine, and I could keep taking it since I liked it, but he wasn’t too keen on the proprietary algaes and herbs listed, as no one was overseeing the production of the vitamin. “You could basically make this in your garage and label it the same way,” he said. Not a ringing endorsement. I hate to fix what isn’t broken! I’ve gotten so far with vitamin code. But I’ve decided to switch to this prenatal which has the USP seal. (Let me know if you have any other recommendations!)

A long and rambling post! Guess I’ve got a lot on my mind. Go figger. (:

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  1. Geeta

     /  May 9, 2014

    I am on PR Natel 400 combo pack. It is proscription pre natel . My gyno has me on one omega 3 500 mg and two tablets of calcium 500 mg a day. Each gyno is different.

    I got my maternity 21 done on week 10 and 4 days. It’s really exciting and nervous experience . It takes a week to get back the results. I was a basket case thinking of all the issues it could have. I had many miscarriages. But please don’t be like me. It dose not help the baby if u are nervous all the time. Be a happy cheerful person u are.
    With love,

    • I will continue to be happy and cheerful…and feel astonished that people now think of me like that, after all the sadness of the past three years. Thanks hon.

  2. I’ve been taking Rainbow Light… but so far I’m only PUPO, so maybe you are onto something!

  3. Clare

     /  May 9, 2014

    I did the envelope thing for finding out the sexes. The scan happened to fall pretty close to christmas so we stuck the envelopes on the tree and opened them Christmas morning. It’s really fun saving it for a special time.

  4. L

     /  May 9, 2014

    I took the same prenatals you’ve linked to. For years. I like them.

  5. So glad to hear things are going really well. So happy for you and DH! I know nothing about your prenatal but I did laugh when your Ob said baby was resting while you were. I bet when you are resting as baby gets bigger, baby will be doing the cha cha or some kickboxing. Just wait. Or maybe that was just me? Can’t wait for you to find out.

  6. My birthday is December 8th! My brother is the 4th (6 years older however). My mother calls us her December babies. It’s a great time to be born :).

    I use Rainbow light like many others and I’ve never had any issues with it. Other than the fact that the pills are kinda big….


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