Vicodin + Valium + really good care

I think I am developing a swoony closeness with my RE Dr. San Roman. It’s kind of this combination of feeling like he’s my caring relative (ie. dad) or like he’s a celebrity I’m crushing out on. Then again, it’s also simply like what it is: the feeling a person gets when she is being well taken care of by a medical professional—especially after she
has experienced her share of chilly-to-ice-cold doctors who say things like “we’ll have to soon evacuate the uterine cavity”…

Yesterday was, no lie, a really great day. My scratch biopsy day. The last one was torture. This time I felt fine about it because I knew Dr. SR would be at the stirrups. Oh and also I took val.ium and vico.din beforehand and was cracking up laughing at the news during the drive through the blizzard to the clinic at 6am. The world seemed peaceful and I expressed tenderness toward all of the people sleeping in the quiet houses along the snowy streets and then remarked on the size of the balls on the bull statue on route 25. “They’re fuckin huge!” I exclaimed, laughing with abandon, and DH said, “Damn, I wish I could have some of that stuff you took.”

Once there, I did a little yoga stretching in the procedure room, and then some breathing exercises while doing a yoga pose (the goddess pose) on the table. The nurse checked on me, apologizing for the delay, and said: “you look so zen!” I slurred back: “it’s all good, take your time.”

Then Dr. SR came in smiling. He patted my hand and reassured me. He said, “Nice socks!” And I explained that they were from my dear friend who loves me (this would be the one and only MLACS, post on this to follow). The nurse distracted me with talk about my serious-looking snow boots, and I described my walks through the snowy woods. Then—wooooop— the pain. I drew in my breath and went: “Woah boy,” but it wasn’t too bad. “It’s done,” the doctor said, then he patted my hand again and said: “Are we still friends?”

I laughed. “Yes, yes, of course.” Effusively gushy. He pulled the shade down from the top so I could see the pretty snow falling outside. He said he wanted me to lay there for a while, just watching the snow, and even “take a little snooze” if I felt like it. Love. Him.

When the nurse came in asking what my husband’s name is so she could call him back, I said, “Tessa,” giving her my name. She burst out laughing.

Because it was snowing so hard, DH took the rest of the day off and we watched three movies, all of which I would recommend: Lianna, Short-Term 12, and Afternoon Delight. We also made almond-milk hot cocoa and drank it in our pajamas.

I never thought a scratch biopsy day could be so delightful!

About a week until period and vivelle. Very exciting. Very crazy. Hard to believe. So close, so close….

Ps I wrote this whole thing on my iPhone. That was hard.

Leave a comment


  1. I’m so glad you have a good doctor. It makes all the difference.

  2. Happy pills! (No wonder I talked so much during my transfer.) It’s a great feeling to be well taken care of.

  3. Awe! Glad you tested out the socks (do they feel lucky?–hope so–my ruling planet is Jupiter so maybe that helps). I f*ing love vic.odin abd val.ium, though the only time I took them simultaneously was when I had my boobs done. Almond milk hor cocoa on a snowy day at home with the hubs sounds euphoric! Love your doc too. XOXO

  4. Gotta love some good drugs. And yes, your doctor sounds like McDreamy!

  5. Hahahahaha. I love drunk patients. That doctor did the best thing ever with that Rx! Relax and recover, doll! Dream of some purple elephants ;)

  6. Oh how could such an uncomfy procedure be turned into a day of bliss? Amazing energy and positivity oozes from your soul right now that’s why, and with a little help from our pharmaceutical friends I can see how the perfect environment was created for your scratch. I’m just so damn excited for you lovely, sending you huge love xxx

  7. I am SO glad your procedure went so well. Obviously you had a little help from your ‘friends’. I am glad you and hubby were able to spend an afternoon together. Sounds magical :) XOXO

  8. I’m so jealous of your drug combo after doing my uterine “extraction” drug-free in the ER this week. Drugs are good!!! I also laughed at the bull statue–the Smithtown Bull!! I’m originally from Long Island… Hope the endo biopsy helps. Dr. S. hasn’t suggested it to for me. Don’t know why… I wonder if we’ll be in Atlanta at the same time? I’m just doing a straight 21 day estrace regimen as soon as HCG is 0…

    • Of course you know the Smithtown Bull! (: How funny is that. Actually, we later discovered that those weren’t his testicles but his tail, sorta coming back up through his haunches—what a crazy statue. I’ll most likely be in Atlanta March 12th. If we’re there at the same time that would be amazing. Keep me posted.


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  • About Me

    Me: 41
    DH: 38

    Fertility issue:
    Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
    6 pregnancy losses
    All early
    5 with my own eggs
    1 with donor egg

    Abnormal embryos

    Factor V Leiden heterozygous
    MTHFR heterozygous

    AFC: 2 - 12
    AMH: 0.2
    FSH: 6.8
    E2: 40
    LH: 2.8


    April 2011 -
    Natural conception, first try. Blighted ovum (gestational sac only). D&C to remove products of conception at 9 weeks.

    Oct 2011 -
    Natural conception, first try. Blighted ovum (gestational sac & yolk sac). Took Cytotec to induce miscarriage at 9 weeks. PTSD, depression, anxiety, insomnia, night terrors followed.

    Winter 2012 -
    Two rounds of Femara/Clomid + IUIs at Columbia and RS of NY. The idea: to produce more eggs and increase chances of catching a good one. BFNs.

    April 2012 -
    Natural conception, first try. Ultrasound showed activity in the uterus, but no complete sac. Diagnosed with "missed abortion." Natural miscarriage at 5 weeks.

    June 2012 -
    Conception after 7 mg Femara for 5 days + IUI. Diagnosed with chemical pregnancy. Natural miscarriage at 4.5 weeks.

    August 2012 -
    Natural conception, without trying. Chemical pregnancy and natural miscarriage at 5 weeks.

    October 2012 -
    ODWU at Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine (CCRM).

    January 2013 -
    IVF with Dr. Schoolcraft.
    Straight Antagonist protocol

    What he predicted:
    I will produce 11 eggs
    Good chance 1 will be normal
    30% chance 2 will be normal
    Transfer 1, then a 45% chance of success
    Transfer 2, then a 65% chance of success

    What happened:
    7 follicles stimulated
    6 mature eggs retrieved
    2 died during ICSI
    4 fertilized
    3 out of 4 embryos CCS-tested
    All abnormal

    Aug/Sept 2013-
    Frozen Donor Egg IVF at Reproductive Biology Associates (RBA)
    What Dr. Shapiro predicted:
    6 or 7 will fertilize
    1 we will transfer
    1 - 3 we will freeze

    Protocol: Lupron, Vivelle patches, Crinone

    8 frozen eggs from donor thawed
    6 fertilized
    1 Day-5 Grade A XBbb blastocyst transferred
    1 Day-5 Grade A EBbb blastocyst frozen
    1 Day-6 Grade A XBbb blastocyst frozen

    September 13, 2013: Pregnant

    Prenatal vitamins & baby aspirin,
    Vivelle patches & Crinone

    Beta #1: 171
    Beta #2: 706
    Beta #3: 7,437

    6 w 3 d: measured 6 w 1 d
    FHR: 80 bpm
    Fetus did not grow
    7 w: FHR 121 bpm
    8 w: heart stopped
    9 w: D and C

    Test results: We lost a normal karyotype male for unexplained reasons

    Quit stressful job
    Anti-inflammation diet
    Gluten-free diet
    Vit D, DHA/EPA
    Therapy/energy work
    Creative Visualization
    Art Therapy

    March 14, 2014:
    Double FET at RBA
    1 Day-5 Grade A EBbb blastocyst
    1 Day-6 Grade A XBbb blastocyst

    March 24, 2014:

    Prenatals, baby aspirin, Folgard, Vivelle, Crinone, Lovenox

    Beta #1: 295
    Beta #2: 942
    Beta #3: 12,153

    1 fetus implanted

    Measured on track

    Fetal heart rate:
    7 wk: 127 bpm, 8wk:159 bpm, 9wk: 172 bpm

    Due date: Dec, 4 2014!

    NatureMade (USP Seal) Prenatals and 4000 Vit D3
    Baby aspirin
    40 mg Lovenox
    DHA and EPA
    Folgard 2.2

    Born: One perfect baby boy 12.4.14

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