Reblog: “If you don’t have kids, you don’t understand,” by No Kidding in NZ.

And while I’m at the reblogging, here is another post I love, a blogger’s response to the British comedian Michael McIntyre skit “People with no kids don’t know.” Blogger No Kidding in NZ responds: “I’ve heard variations of this over and over again.  And today, I’m standing up to say that yes, we do know, and we do understand.  No, we may never have experienced parenthood in the way you have.  But we know what you’re going through.  How could we not?  We are constantly bombarded with the messages about how hard being a parent is, and with the accompanying messages ‘if you’re a parent you are superior/deserve a medal/etc.’  I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard a parent say “no-one tells you how hard it is.” …  Yes, they do.  (I want to shout).  Everyone tells you how hard it is.  I know, how come you didn’t know?  Or perhaps you just didn’t want to know?”

“If you don’t have kids, you don’t understand,” by No Kidding in NZ.

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8 Comments

  1. Thank you for saying what all the rest of us WANT to say!

    Reply
  2. Absolutely priceless! Honestly, I’m so sick and tired of people whining about how hard/annoying/boring/frustrating etc parenthood/motherhood/pregnancy is. REALLY? Is that why you decided to have kids? Especially when you have like half a dozen or so? I mean, come on. My “favorite” one (note the sarcasm) is when someone tells an IFer how it’s so much easier for them because they don’t know what they’re missing. Oh, and the “can’t you/why don’t you JUST adopt?”. Oh yeah…I must not have gotten the memo where creating a family with the person you love is as easy as going down to the shelter and picking up a puppy. And just as cheap, quick and painless. NOT!!!! ugh

    Reply
    • As I sit here in my perfectly quiet, well-ordered house, I hear those voices: At least you get to travel, to sleep in, to spend quality time with your husband, at least you have peace and quiet. Quiet, yes, but peace is harder to come by, when I see on Facebook (I’m trying to go back on there again…) that my acquaintance spent three hours this morning jumping on the bed with her two kids. Comparison is a peace-robber but sometimes my mind just does it automatically. No one understands unless they are in it, and I know that the people who love me who don’t understand just want my happiness and don’t know how to express it other than to say “at least” statements or offer “quick” fixes.

      Reply
      • Kali

         /  February 7, 2014

        “I know that the people who love me who don’t understand just want my happiness and don’t know how to express it other than to say “at least” statements or offer “quick” fixes.”

        I’m trying very hard to understand and accept this but really, I wish they’d just shut up. It isn’t their pain.

        Reply
      • I know what you mean…

        Reply

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  • About Me

    Me: 41
    DH: 38

    Fertility issue:
    Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
    6 pregnancy losses
    All early
    5 with my own eggs
    1 with donor egg

    DOR
    Abnormal embryos

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    April 2011 -
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    Winter 2012 -
    Two rounds of Femara/Clomid + IUIs at Columbia and RS of NY. The idea: to produce more eggs and increase chances of catching a good one. BFNs.

    April 2012 -
    Natural conception, first try. Ultrasound showed activity in the uterus, but no complete sac. Diagnosed with "missed abortion." Natural miscarriage at 5 weeks.

    June 2012 -
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    October 2012 -
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    January 2013 -
    IVF with Dr. Schoolcraft.
    Straight Antagonist protocol

    What he predicted:
    I will produce 11 eggs
    Good chance 1 will be normal
    30% chance 2 will be normal
    Transfer 1, then a 45% chance of success
    Transfer 2, then a 65% chance of success

    What happened:
    7 follicles stimulated
    6 mature eggs retrieved
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    4 fertilized
    3 out of 4 embryos CCS-tested
    All abnormal

    ***
    Aug/Sept 2013-
    Frozen Donor Egg IVF at Reproductive Biology Associates (RBA)
    What Dr. Shapiro predicted:
    6 or 7 will fertilize
    1 we will transfer
    1 - 3 we will freeze

    Protocol: Lupron, Vivelle patches, Crinone

    8 frozen eggs from donor thawed
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    1 Day-5 Grade A XBbb blastocyst transferred
    1 Day-5 Grade A EBbb blastocyst frozen
    1 Day-6 Grade A XBbb blastocyst frozen

    September 13, 2013: Pregnant

    Protocol:
    Prenatal vitamins & baby aspirin,
    Vivelle patches & Crinone

    Beta #1: 171
    Beta #2: 706
    Beta #3: 7,437

    6 w 3 d: measured 6 w 1 d
    FHR: 80 bpm
    Fetus did not grow
    7 w: FHR 121 bpm
    8 w: heart stopped
    9 w: D and C

    Test results: We lost a normal karyotype male for unexplained reasons

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    March 14, 2014:
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    1 Day-5 Grade A EBbb blastocyst
    1 Day-6 Grade A XBbb blastocyst

    March 24, 2014:
    Pregnant

    Protocol:
    Prenatals, baby aspirin, Folgard, Vivelle, Crinone, Lovenox

    Beta #1: 295
    Beta #2: 942
    Beta #3: 12,153

    1 fetus implanted

    Measured on track

    Fetal heart rate:
    7 wk: 127 bpm, 8wk:159 bpm, 9wk: 172 bpm

    Due date: Dec, 4 2014!

    NatureMade (USP Seal) Prenatals and 4000 Vit D3
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    40 mg Lovenox
    DHA and EPA
    Folgard 2.2

    Born: One perfect baby boy 12.4.14

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