Baby hasn’t grown

I am losing my mind. The baby has not grown in the past week. The heart rate increased from 80 to 120, but no growth. The doctor took us into a room to tell us that he was concerned that this was going to be a miscarriage. I am going to a radiologist in a couple of hours to get another scan. But I know what is happening. I just don’t understand. I’ve had increased symptoms, and I felt so much growth going on down there this past week. I’ve been taking my medications perfectly, eating well, going to yoga…

I don’t think I can go through this again, I really don’t. This feels deeply frightening.

 

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18 Comments

  1. Thinking of you. I’m so sorry. XOXO

    Reply
  2. I am SO sorry and I am sending you strength to get through this, no matter what the outcome is.
    Thank goodness for frozens and for the guarantee program. I know this stuff probably seems irrelevant right now because what is happening now is too much, but keep your backup plans in mind. That’s how I’ve gotten through hard times.
    And of course, I am holding you and the baby in my thoughts, hoping for good news despite this rocky start.

    Reply
  3. AB

     /  October 7, 2013

    I am so very sorry to hear this news, and, am also remaining hopeful that the increased heartbeat is a sign that this star is holding on, and will thrive. These first weeks of pregnancy are so fraught, so frightening…like you, I’ve lost a handful early on and it’s hard not to feel that visceral wave of fear. Dive into it rather than take its brunt…it’ll wash over you. Hoping hard this is just a scare before good, calming news.

    Reply
  4. My heart just sank when I read the title to your post. I am so sorry. I hope that the scan later today can show that things are not lost. I know you’ve been through so much. Hang in there. I’m sending you big, gigantic hugs.

    Reply
  5. Oh, friend. I’m so so sorry to hear this. I really didn’t expect it to turn out this way. The increased heart rate is good news, but to be coupled with the lack of growth is disheartening (to drastically understate it). I’m thinking of you (still, and like crazy). xo

    Reply
  6. Oh no. No no no no no. I have no words. But I am thinking of you. Remember, you are stronger than you know.

    Reply
  7. I’m praying for you that the baby is just taking their time growing. The heartbeat is there and you are pregnant. Positive thoughts coming your way!

    Reply
  8. Melana Kopman

     /  October 7, 2013

    There are no words. I am so so sorry that you are going through this roller coaster. We are all still hoping for good news. Thinking of you and little star.

    Reply
  9. hope

     /  October 7, 2013

    I am so very sorry to hear this news… I am hoping this second scan will bring you good news.

    Reply
  10. Oh man. This sucks royally. I am so sorry.

    Reply
  11. I’m so so sorry, holding out hope for you xx

    Reply
  12. I’m so, so sorry. I hope you have some good news at your next scan so very much x

    Reply
  13. LH

     /  October 7, 2013

    My heart just dropped when I saw your email. I’m so sorry. You have a lot of love surrounding you, and you will get through this with all of us, no matter what happens.

    Reply
  14. Shit shit shit. I’m sorry.

    Reply
  15. Nina

     /  October 7, 2013

    That is tough but don’t give up, you have some more babies (eggs) waiting for you! You will have your baby in your arms, just don’t give up whatever happens. It will work out for you, I can feel it … A big hug and take care of yourself.

    Reply
  16. Laurel

     /  October 7, 2013

    I’m angry and sad for you. It is hard not to question everything and wonder, WHY are we dealt this card? It just is soo hard to make sense of our misfortunes & losses. That being said, your story WILL have a happy ending. I promise you. I’m sorry that this may not be your moment, but your blessings are ahead of you. Please know that you have many people praying for you & your future family. XOXO.

    Reply
  17. Oh hun, my heart goes out to you. I’ve been in that very position you’re in right now and I know how terrifying it is. You’ve done everything right, none of this is your fault. A beating heart is a beating heart and we have to remember that. Holding your hand for the next scan…xxx

    Reply
  18. I am so sorry. Thinking of you.

    Reply

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    Me: 41
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    Fertility issue:
    Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
    6 pregnancy losses
    All early
    5 with my own eggs
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