Meet our AA embryo!

blastocyst

Isn’t it beautiful?

Our AA! What Dr. Shapiro called “an UBER-embryo!” It’s snug in my uterus as I type. I know this because I saw it placed there with my own eyes, a pinpoint of light, like a star, which I saw on the screen above me. Saw the light go into me and all the way down to the center of my womb. “Bull’s eye,” said Dr. S. “Right where it should be.” The catheter came out, but the little star remained inside me.

How CRAZY.

I just looked and looked at it.

On another screen in front of me was the image above, enlarged, silver-lit.

I am too in another world right now to write much more about it, but you know you can count on me for a detailed description later on.

So far, we have one other excellent embryo that was frozen. This is what I am hoping will become a future sibling. The embryologist is going to watch the other 4 embryos, as they are still growing but were at the morula stage this morning. Any of those four that make it to blastocyst in the next couple of days will also be frozen.

Dr. S and the embryologist recommended a single embryo transfer. Dr. S said: “I would be very surprised if you didn’t get pregnant with this embryo.” He was making the “A” and “+” shapes with his arms, like a cheerleader. It was really sweet.  The embryologist, who had a strong German accent, was one of the calmest, most reassuring medical professionals I’ve ever met, and he had great eye contact. I felt that he was speaking to me carefully, compassionately, respectfully. Felt so lucky he was my guy.

I didn’t even consider doing a double embryo transfer at the time, but have had some troubling doubts since this morning, wondering if I should have transferred both of those excellent blasts today—there is a 5% chance that the second blast will not survive the thaw in a couple of years, and a 50% (as opposed to 60%) chance of pregnancy after that. I feel funny, like I’ve put that child’s life at risk—I didn’t expect to feel this way! That the embryo is already my child, a human life I must protect. It is too late now anyway, so there’s no point in worrying. Besides, the significant risks of a twin pregnancy (and early infancy) were not, in the end, what we wanted. Also I went with the doctor’s and embryologist’s recommendation, DH reminds me, which is always a good thing.

But not knowing what will happen with the remaining four that are growing makes me a little uneasy. I humbly ask the sisterhood once again: do your rain dances, prayers, and sci-fi vibology for those remaining 4 growers. I know that an embryo can reach blast stage anywhere between Day 4 and Day 6 (or even 7). I hope, hope, hope that is the case with at least a couple of them.

As for mama, I’m going to go back to watching movies and reading and rubbing my belly. I feel strange. Good. Tired. Worried. But mostly good. And grateful. I’m reading Help, Thanks, Wow.  And when I look at the perfect little embryo above I whisper: wowowowowow: Life just began.

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10 Comments

  1. That is one beautiful embryo, lady! Welcome home to it!

    And for the record, I think you absolutely did the right thing. With my anxiety and fears during pregnancy- which I never would have predicted to last this long- I can only imagine the terror I’d have if I had to worry about the higher risks of a twin pregnancy. Singleton is the way to go, in my opinion. With a great frozen (and you will likely have at least two more), you can afford to use ’em one at a time. I think you made the right call.

    I am so,so hopeful and excited for you. As Dr. S said, I’ll also be very surprised if you don’t have success with this perfect embryo. Here’s to a speedy and healthy next nine days!

    Reply
    • Thank you! It’s good to hear the reassurance on the SET. I have very mixed feelings at this point but time will pass and that will help. The days are creaking by already…

      Reply
  2. Vedha

     /  September 5, 2013

    I am soooo happy for u,take good care of yourself ,prayers and lots of positive vibes ur way.

    Reply
  3. Beautiful, beautiful embryo! I totally understand the fear about freezing too. My Dr. S told me the 95% success rate for thawing a couple of weeks ago, but all I heard was “5% it doesn’t”. Hopeful that your second perfect embryo is in the 95% and that he or she makes a precious sibling one day in the future.

    Reply
  4. CONGRATULATIONS on your beautiful, wonderful little star! I love that metaphor. Beautiful. To help smooth your freezing fears, I have done two frozen transfers with five embryos at this point, and they all survived freezing and thawing. So far. I am confident that my donor freezie-pop is going to thaw just fine as well in a couple weeks. Hard not to be afraid of the 5%, but it is far more likely than not that your embryos will thaw just fine. :) I really hope this A+ embryo is it! Enjoy the rest and snuggle in, little star!

    Reply

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