Huge silver linings

In recent weeks I have received comments on my blog that have really touched me. Validated the hell out of me. I hear how my words help you—and that helps me! It’s this magical, super-positive support loop, and I am extremely grateful.

Thank you. One of the very best things that has come out of this experience has been connecting with you.

I know, now, that I want to write a nonfiction book (or two) related to this experience, because the responses I have gotten to this blog have helped me to realize how I can express all that I’ve gone through and researched and learned in ways that are most helpful to others. I also know I am moving toward making infertility, loss, and other journeys toward parenthood a main focus of my clinical practice as a social worker. Huge silver linings going on. Huge.

We met with a psychologist on Thursday who evaluated our readiness for donor egg IVF (she will send a report to RBA) and she and I talked about the ways I can get connected professionally to ASRM. Also, I am studying for the licensing exam right now and plan to take it soon—so perhaps I can begin to develop this aspect of my career sooner than I previously thought.

I have so much I want to write about! One reader requested that I write more about couple’s counseling, and I very much want to do that. I could dedicate an entire blog to what happened in that room with our counselor. But right now I have to get back to studying for that licensing exam—I’ll be lost in the books for a while. But I’ll be back soon.

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  1. Yay! I’m so excited to hear all of this! I will read any book, blog, article that you write. I can’t even express how your writing, content and writing style, moves me… no matter what the topic. I’m happy to hear that you like feedback because I’m usually a silent lurker, very shy on the internet, but I just couldn’t keep quiet about some of the stuff that has touched me. We are in the same profession too :-) Kindred spirits. Take care and I look forward to more of your writing!

  2. Kindred spirits indeed! It is so kind of you to say all of this. And inspiring. Know that if you’re feeling shy your comments always have a home here (: And thank you for all you write in your blog, too—I am just now taking a naughty break from studying and perusing it, so lovely!

  1. (Much) more on couples counseling | the unexpected trip

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  •© the unexpected trip,, 2012-2017.
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  • About Me

    Me: 41
    DH: 38

    Fertility issue:
    Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
    6 pregnancy losses
    All early
    5 with my own eggs
    1 with donor egg

    Abnormal embryos

    Factor V Leiden heterozygous
    MTHFR heterozygous

    AFC: 2 - 12
    AMH: 0.2
    FSH: 6.8
    E2: 40
    LH: 2.8


    April 2011 -
    Natural conception, first try. Blighted ovum (gestational sac only). D&C to remove products of conception at 9 weeks.

    Oct 2011 -
    Natural conception, first try. Blighted ovum (gestational sac & yolk sac). Took Cytotec to induce miscarriage at 9 weeks. PTSD, depression, anxiety, insomnia, night terrors followed.

    Winter 2012 -
    Two rounds of Femara/Clomid + IUIs at Columbia and RS of NY. The idea: to produce more eggs and increase chances of catching a good one. BFNs.

    April 2012 -
    Natural conception, first try. Ultrasound showed activity in the uterus, but no complete sac. Diagnosed with "missed abortion." Natural miscarriage at 5 weeks.

    June 2012 -
    Conception after 7 mg Femara for 5 days + IUI. Diagnosed with chemical pregnancy. Natural miscarriage at 4.5 weeks.

    August 2012 -
    Natural conception, without trying. Chemical pregnancy and natural miscarriage at 5 weeks.

    October 2012 -
    ODWU at Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine (CCRM).

    January 2013 -
    IVF with Dr. Schoolcraft.
    Straight Antagonist protocol

    What he predicted:
    I will produce 11 eggs
    Good chance 1 will be normal
    30% chance 2 will be normal
    Transfer 1, then a 45% chance of success
    Transfer 2, then a 65% chance of success

    What happened:
    7 follicles stimulated
    6 mature eggs retrieved
    2 died during ICSI
    4 fertilized
    3 out of 4 embryos CCS-tested
    All abnormal

    Aug/Sept 2013-
    Frozen Donor Egg IVF at Reproductive Biology Associates (RBA)
    What Dr. Shapiro predicted:
    6 or 7 will fertilize
    1 we will transfer
    1 - 3 we will freeze

    Protocol: Lupron, Vivelle patches, Crinone

    8 frozen eggs from donor thawed
    6 fertilized
    1 Day-5 Grade A XBbb blastocyst transferred
    1 Day-5 Grade A EBbb blastocyst frozen
    1 Day-6 Grade A XBbb blastocyst frozen

    September 13, 2013: Pregnant

    Prenatal vitamins & baby aspirin,
    Vivelle patches & Crinone

    Beta #1: 171
    Beta #2: 706
    Beta #3: 7,437

    6 w 3 d: measured 6 w 1 d
    FHR: 80 bpm
    Fetus did not grow
    7 w: FHR 121 bpm
    8 w: heart stopped
    9 w: D and C

    Test results: We lost a normal karyotype male for unexplained reasons

    Quit stressful job
    Anti-inflammation diet
    Gluten-free diet
    Vit D, DHA/EPA
    Therapy/energy work
    Creative Visualization
    Art Therapy

    March 14, 2014:
    Double FET at RBA
    1 Day-5 Grade A EBbb blastocyst
    1 Day-6 Grade A XBbb blastocyst

    March 24, 2014:

    Prenatals, baby aspirin, Folgard, Vivelle, Crinone, Lovenox

    Beta #1: 295
    Beta #2: 942
    Beta #3: 12,153

    1 fetus implanted

    Measured on track

    Fetal heart rate:
    7 wk: 127 bpm, 8wk:159 bpm, 9wk: 172 bpm

    Due date: Dec, 4 2014!

    NatureMade (USP Seal) Prenatals and 4000 Vit D3
    Baby aspirin
    40 mg Lovenox
    DHA and EPA
    Folgard 2.2

    Born: One perfect baby boy 12.4.14

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