I just realized: We’re all mothering one another

I was knocked down breathless in therapy tonight when my wise, present, affectionate, incisive, gifted therapist said to me: “You say you aren’t a mother, but that’s not what I hear. I hear that you are mothering this project, The Unexpected Trip. You are mothering your readers.”

“And they are mothering me,” I said, tears springing to my eyes.

I have never met you in person, I don’t know what you look like, what you sound like, where you live. But I know you. And you know me. I am so grateful for you. I want to thank you for allowing me to express my true nature—my nurturing, motherly nature—to you, and for giving all of that mothering back to me and then some. How remarkable to be knitted together with you through this experience.

“Don’t diminish your experience, your path,” my therapist said. “Don’t denigrate it, disqualify it. You say you don’t have a baby, but I’m not sure if that’s true—you have literally birthed this blog.”

We talked about all of the “babies” in my life, all of the ways I mother, and when I arrived at home, I immediately wanted to channel these words to you. I have said these sorts of things before, but it is different when I experience the words in therapy on a cellular level. So here it is. I hope it brings you a little bit of peace, some laughter in recognition, and the feeling of not being alone.

Y’all are mothers! Every one of you!

Here are just a few of you. More to come. And I’m adding a page/sidebar for you, too.

And do let me know if you have recommendations for other donor egg blogs.

A Chick and Eggs

A Crack in Everything

All in One Basket

Baby on Mind

Beloved Burnt Toast

Chronicling my journey with infertility

Donor Diva: Mother Via Egg Donation

Hard Boiled: A Donor Egg Blog

Hope Is Something You Pee On…


Lamenting the Lentil

Love, Marriage, Baby. Right?

MoJo Working

No Good Eggs


Ready For My Turn

Something Happened on the Way to Baby

Stirrup Queens

The Mama’s Rapscallion

The Maybe Baby (Babies)

Trying to get pregnant by IVF after 40

WAY Too Much Information. Come On, It Won’t Kill You…

Yeah, Science!

Leave a comment


  1. This is such a lovely, lovely thought. Makes me feel all warm inside. Thanks for sharing it with us, friend. :)

  2. Love! :)

  3. Very lovely indeed!
    And thanks for the shout out! ;)

  4. I totally feel like a mother and I’ve never even been pregnant….yet?!!! (fx)


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  • About Me

    Me: 41
    DH: 38

    Fertility issue:
    Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
    6 pregnancy losses
    All early
    5 with my own eggs
    1 with donor egg

    Abnormal embryos

    Factor V Leiden heterozygous
    MTHFR heterozygous

    AFC: 2 - 12
    AMH: 0.2
    FSH: 6.8
    E2: 40
    LH: 2.8


    April 2011 -
    Natural conception, first try. Blighted ovum (gestational sac only). D&C to remove products of conception at 9 weeks.

    Oct 2011 -
    Natural conception, first try. Blighted ovum (gestational sac & yolk sac). Took Cytotec to induce miscarriage at 9 weeks. PTSD, depression, anxiety, insomnia, night terrors followed.

    Winter 2012 -
    Two rounds of Femara/Clomid + IUIs at Columbia and RS of NY. The idea: to produce more eggs and increase chances of catching a good one. BFNs.

    April 2012 -
    Natural conception, first try. Ultrasound showed activity in the uterus, but no complete sac. Diagnosed with "missed abortion." Natural miscarriage at 5 weeks.

    June 2012 -
    Conception after 7 mg Femara for 5 days + IUI. Diagnosed with chemical pregnancy. Natural miscarriage at 4.5 weeks.

    August 2012 -
    Natural conception, without trying. Chemical pregnancy and natural miscarriage at 5 weeks.

    October 2012 -
    ODWU at Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine (CCRM).

    January 2013 -
    IVF with Dr. Schoolcraft.
    Straight Antagonist protocol

    What he predicted:
    I will produce 11 eggs
    Good chance 1 will be normal
    30% chance 2 will be normal
    Transfer 1, then a 45% chance of success
    Transfer 2, then a 65% chance of success

    What happened:
    7 follicles stimulated
    6 mature eggs retrieved
    2 died during ICSI
    4 fertilized
    3 out of 4 embryos CCS-tested
    All abnormal

    Aug/Sept 2013-
    Frozen Donor Egg IVF at Reproductive Biology Associates (RBA)
    What Dr. Shapiro predicted:
    6 or 7 will fertilize
    1 we will transfer
    1 - 3 we will freeze

    Protocol: Lupron, Vivelle patches, Crinone

    8 frozen eggs from donor thawed
    6 fertilized
    1 Day-5 Grade A XBbb blastocyst transferred
    1 Day-5 Grade A EBbb blastocyst frozen
    1 Day-6 Grade A XBbb blastocyst frozen

    September 13, 2013: Pregnant

    Prenatal vitamins & baby aspirin,
    Vivelle patches & Crinone

    Beta #1: 171
    Beta #2: 706
    Beta #3: 7,437

    6 w 3 d: measured 6 w 1 d
    FHR: 80 bpm
    Fetus did not grow
    7 w: FHR 121 bpm
    8 w: heart stopped
    9 w: D and C

    Test results: We lost a normal karyotype male for unexplained reasons

    Quit stressful job
    Anti-inflammation diet
    Gluten-free diet
    Vit D, DHA/EPA
    Therapy/energy work
    Creative Visualization
    Art Therapy

    March 14, 2014:
    Double FET at RBA
    1 Day-5 Grade A EBbb blastocyst
    1 Day-6 Grade A XBbb blastocyst

    March 24, 2014:

    Prenatals, baby aspirin, Folgard, Vivelle, Crinone, Lovenox

    Beta #1: 295
    Beta #2: 942
    Beta #3: 12,153

    1 fetus implanted

    Measured on track

    Fetal heart rate:
    7 wk: 127 bpm, 8wk:159 bpm, 9wk: 172 bpm

    Due date: Dec, 4 2014!

    NatureMade (USP Seal) Prenatals and 4000 Vit D3
    Baby aspirin
    40 mg Lovenox
    DHA and EPA
    Folgard 2.2

    Born: One perfect baby boy 12.4.14

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