What the job gives me

Ordered my medications the other day, and they came to…

$4500.

Got the bill in the mail from CCRM for the procedure this January…

$21,000.

So! That is that.

The “dream job” has turned out to be not exactly as dreamy as I’d thought it would be, but it is good, it is fine, and I welcome the additional income with open arms! Because of the job, these above figures don’t make my stomach turn cold. Because of the job, I allowed myself to get the most heavenly massage I’ve had in a long, long time this morning at Dreaming Tree, and will get more on the weekends to follow (I feel transformed!). Also, we went out to dinner without feeling horribly guilty about it. I bought my supplements without annoyance. I bought a book and some new music and told myself “it’s okay, you have a job now.” This Thursday, I’m going to go to reiki for the first time ever, with a practitioner with whom I feel connected. The job is already allowing possibilities to open up. And I wonder if, on a psychological and spiritual level, my having a job will welcome that new life toward us, since we’ll be a little more prepared for it financially.

On another level entirely, connecting with the residents of the nursing home is medicine. One meeting I had in particular felt profound. I like talking to the families about their concerns—I feel like I am talking to my aunt, my parents, who are taking care of my Ma-Maw right now, who has Alzheimer’s. It is my job to comfort the families, allow them to vent, and take action when they have an issue or problem. There is no question that helping others helps me as much as it helps them. If I focus on that, it makes the other quite annoying aspects of the job much easier to swallow!

 

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